For you

Hey. You’re there, I see you. I might not know you.

It frustrates me because I know you’ll see this and think it’s not written for you, you’ll distrust even this sentence. I know trust is a long process and that you are so not there. I’m not there. I’m writing this because I know there are people like me who want to be with someone and find that they can’t. I know there are people who would like to trust but are afraid to give part of themselves to someone who might not understand, again, who might just throw it away, and not ever give it back. I still pause before I send any text message, even to my closest friends. Or do I have close friends, if I have to pause before I send them something. I just want you to know someone understands, and even if you don’t trust that this sentence is for you, maybe one day you will. I believe in you. Please give yourself another chance. You have more in you than you feel right now. Sometimes, the tunnel takes a bend. You can’t see the light because there is another bend!! If you hit a dead end, it’s not the end. Not the end. I trust you will find a way around the bend. I will see you tomorrow.

Suicide Through the Cracks: The one the system missed

Please read this.. the stigma has to be removed : sharing in the pain is way more helpful than thinking it’ll all go away if we don’t look at it.



“You see the giant and the shepherd in the valley and Elah and your eye is drawn to the man with the sword and shield and the glittering armor. But so much of what is beautiful and valuable in the world comes from the shepherd, who has more strength and purpose than we can ever imagine.”
-Malcolm Gladwell

By Cortland Pfeffer       Edited By Irwin Ozborne

I survived a suicide attempt. I also spent years receiving treatment in rehab centers and psychiatric hospitals. However my friend, Joe, did not survive. He spent many years on the streets and in jails before taking his life on February 25, 2010. This is what suicide looks like. This is him after hanging himself.

There is no difference between us, besides our resources and the subsequent treatment we were provided. He grew up in a rough environment including his home, neighborhood, school, friends, and life…

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10 Reasons to Live


I’ve just spent the last two hours trying to convince a friend of mine not to end her life. Everything for her recently has genuinely resembled hell, and honestly I don’t think a single person could judge her for her thoughts right now.

But the problem is, this girl is one of my favourite people on the planet and she adds colour and light into everything that she does or any place that she goes.

In a cruel and ironic twist of fate, she regulary reads through my blog to check out how I’m doing and coping; so right now I’ve decided to write a list of all the amazing things that make her her. So stop, read them, and be excited to live – and yes I’m talking to you, you beautiful nut job…


1. You are the most generous person I know. You will do absolutely anything for anyone else and go above…

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The other side of being a good person

“Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”

What is often not said about being a so said good person is hating what is evil.  Sometimes when we are unclear about what we want to go towards, stating what we think is evil is easier and will give us direction. If we love say, LOVE, we will naturally hate HATE. Stating what is evil is just as effective as stating what we think is good. An example:

” I HATE: Unforgivenness



Not being Considerate


Not all hate is bad. If we hate the bad things, we will naturally love the good things even more.

The future is something we make, not something we wait for.

We must work for today what we want tomorrow.

Why don’t we work for it? Because People are complacent. Not because they are unwilling to see a better tomorrow, but because they don’t want to change. We are comfortable where we are. We are satisfied for what we’ve got. Yes, we all want a brighter future, but we like our old ways. In A Return to Love, the author Marianne Williamson speaks of a child who, when tried to be taken away from his abusive mother, he did not want to leave her arms. She is familiar territory. In a way, that is all of us. We don’t want to leave what is familiar, even though it is not good for us. Even though we could have a brighter future.

When we become afraid of change, we accept whatever future is coming to us when we are not making a change. In Merchants of Doubt, a documentary about planting seeds of doubt in the public to conceal scientific truths such as nicotine addiction and global warming, the people grabbed on to the statements that said global warming is not real, even though there was so much evidence to support the contrary. The only reason they were willing to believe this lie was because they didn’t want to make a change. If they believed that global warming was real, they would have to change their lifestyles to make a change. It was easier to ignore the truth and do nothing than it is to accept it and get up out of their chairs and work for a better tomorrow.

We have to accept this change first.

In the movie Tomorrowland (spoiler), the main character Casey finds out that the world is accepting the possibility of the apocalypse unconsciously through media, video games, and movies. The people only accept this possibility with the only reason being that this future, as opposed to a brighter one, requires nothing of them today. Casey turns this certainty of the apocalypse around, however, by not accepting it. She saw the real Tomorrowland, the one that the brightest and most creative people in the world could build together. That was the reality she had accepted, not the apocalypse, so she was willing to do whatever it took to make the Tomorrowland she saw happen. In her mind, it had already happened. She was just part of the process. (end spoiler)

We have to accept a better future if we want one. If we become complacent and accept a future that is the same as our lives today, we won’t do anything, and this will become our future. If we want a better future, we have to go out there and make a change. If you can imagine a better future, that future comes from you. Or else it won’t come. As a friend once shared, “We are the Future and it is the Future we seek.”

So…how do you make a better future? You won’t change the world. No one does, only God does. And God works through people. So whatever place he has for you right now, you have to fill it. Don’t try to make a place for yourself that is bigger than what He has for you. So where do you start? Yourself. There is a poem that says,

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.
I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.
When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.
Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.

Start with yourself. Make a change. The future doesn’t come from nowhere. It comes from YOU. Here’s also a good opportunity.

Trusting in You

One of the most important abilities in life is to trust yourself. Once you know that you are able do incredible things, you will be able to do them.

This world is also full of people who don’t trust you. Don’t worry, that doesn’t mean you aren’t to be trusted. They don’t know you, or they don’t know how. Some of the closest people in your life may not trust you because they want to protect you, or they have not seen the capabilities you have. If you are stuck with one of those people, get out. Pay attention. I don’t mean go away from them. Most likely, someone who doesn’t believe in other people doesn’t believe in them self either. They may love you, and you may love them as well. Keep going with them, and one day maybe you will even be a support to them. However, you need someone to support you as well. Someone out there is a strong person who is willing to believe in you, if you find them. You don’t have to go far. Just keep your eyes open. This may be an owner of a small restaurant. That happened to me. I went to an Ethiopian place that had only several chairs in its eating area. The woman who ran it, however, was genuinely interested in me and talked to me even though she had other customers. She shared with me the church that she went to and said I was a special person. She believed in me. Although it was a small encounter, I let it change me. As a friend once said, she had to choose between the good parts of growing up in a small town and use them to her advantage, while not letting the bad ones bother her. In the same way, we must let the people who truly believe in us to impact us in a stronger way than those who don’t. Another thing is, go after those who are like this. If someone thinks you are special, they probably won’t mind talking to you again. I realized a family friend was a strong person when my mom was having  a meeting with him and I sat in. I let what he said about me wash over me. He told me that God made everyone special, and that I had important things to do for God. He also shared some of his story. I knew he was a good support for me, so I may contact him more. It is important to surround yourself with people who believe in you and see you as someone special. As a book, the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens says, if we surround ourselves with people who look at you in a better way than you look at yourself, you will start to see yourself that way. We all need people who will support us.

“If you could envision the type of person God intended you to be, you would rise up and never be the same again.” – Anonymous . I believe you have the power to be great, take control of your life and use it for what God intended it to be used for, if you just believed in yourself.